Okay guys, this is my first attempt at a twitter-sized pitch. Here goes nothing!
Title: Dusty Everhart and the Nightmare
Genre: YA contemporary fantasy
Word Count: 77,500
16-yr-old Dusty is a Nightmare who must identify a murderer at her magical high school by following clues in her crush’s dreams.
*****Update*******
I'm guessing we're allowed to edit as we get feedback? I'm hoping so. Here's a second option, although I'm not sure I like it better. Gosh, this is so hard/fun/challenging:
16-yr-old Dusty is a Nightmare who derives her power from other’s dreams. Now she must find a killer through clues in her crush’s dreams.
And because it's Furry Friday, here's a cute kitty pic to get us through the weekend:
YAY! How exciting :D I'm not sure how you can make this clearer b/c I'm reading the manuscript so this makes perfect sense to me. I think you could probably remove the mention of a magical high school in favor of clarity about either what a Nightmare is or why she's the one who needs to identify the murderer.
ReplyDeleteBut idk LOL. Good luck!
I am curious as to what a Nightmare is, but very intriguing.
ReplyDeleteGreat, concise pitch! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI like it! Having a Nightmare as a character is unique!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. And that's a great idea Lori. I'm totally going to revise.
ReplyDeleteVery good pitch and the revisions make it pop more. Personally, not knowing what a Nightmare is makes me want to read more. Excellent plot and tension, all within 140 characters. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteat first i was confused because i didn't know what a nightmare was, but after a couple of reads i put it together (i also just started my coffee and am not at my sharpest yet heh)
ReplyDeletemaybe the second line could be altered a bit to avoid repetition :
now she must invade her crushes dreams to stop a murder....
or
Dusty hoped to be in her crushes dreams not invading them with her powers looking for clues to a murder
i look forward to hearing more about your story!
douglas esper
I agree with Lori simply about giving a hint as to what a Nightmare is, though getting her powers from other's derams sounds very cool! Good luck!
ReplyDelete